Disappointment

Today's rambling is all about disappointment. My previous post was about my struggle in my role at work. This topic ties into that. We had a few instances yesterday at work that left me feeling completely drained and completely unmotivated. I left work feeling like I had nothing left to give. I left doubting myself and my abilities to continue doing this job well. I woke up this morning feeling the same. Originally I thought this was all due to making mistakes. I had made, what I believe to be, a big mistake that ended up making another individual extremely unhappy and rather irate. I feel in my professional life I am able to handle conflict and confrontation very well, but in this instance the communication wasn't happening and my boss had to step in. The sitation itself made me feel very small and worthless. After work I proceeded to call my mom to look for words of wisdom and comfort. She, of course, listened intently but didn't necessarily have any response other than to tell me it sounds like I handled everything to the best of my ability and that I at least owned up to my mistake. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, although I'm not sure what I was looking to hear at this point. Again, I was completely drained. Then I talked to my husband. This man is so inspired and knows me better than I know myself 90% of the time! He said to be, "Babe, you aren't upset about the fact that you made a mistake as you are more upset with the fact that you disappointed people"....That's it!!!! This is EXACTLY where my problem lies. I hate disappointing people. But disappointing people is inevitably going to happen right? Of course. But I cannot express enough how much it eats me alive! It's still eating me alive. I am dreading when this individual comes back into my place of work in a few more days. Did the situation get somewhat resolved? Yes, thanks to my boss. But my actions disappointed someone and in my opinion created a bigger situation than maybe was necessary. I have so many things to juggle and keep up with at work that I still ask myself, are you over your head?? Is this just too much?? I still haven't a clue. All I know is I am trying to do the absolute best that I can. I need to figure out a way of realizing disappointment happens. People are always going to be people. Times are especially stressful right now as this entire pandemic plays out. All I can do is try my best to move forward. Leave yesterdays stresses and worries in the past. Not allow tomorrows worries or stresses get the best of me. Take each day a day at a time. All of this is way easier said than done!