New Year, Old Me

Last night before going to sleep and then again this morning as I was having my coffee I had a revelation. Last night it started as I was reminiscing on memories from high school and college. I started thinking about the person I was back then and how much I have changed. My personality has remained but my spice for life has sort of dissipated. I hope I'm not alone in how this happens to women, or anyone in general. I realized how I've become accustomed to doing the same routine of life everyday, day in and day out. And funny enough, becoming this routine person has made me boring. Older than I really am. And I know I'm not in high school anymore or in my 20's anymore, but this revelation got me thinking. What has happened to me?! I've become this woman who listens more to her anxiety and worries than to what adventures lie ahead. I've become afraid of trying new things and going new places. I've become a home-body. The little bit of introvert that is in me (which literally is VERY small) has taken over. I've become okay with staying home quite a lot and have lost interest in learning. So I asked myself this morning, "What has happened to you?!" Now, is there something to be said for getting older and becoming okay with not going out all the time. Is there something to be said for knowing I am simply at an age where household things can take precedence over the fun stuff? Absolutely. There is nothing wrong with being home, with taking care of what needs to be done, adulting. BUT there is something wrong if that is all my life has become. So it is fitting that this is New Years Eve. I can make a resolution to change and it starts with a new year. I do have to caution myself against thinking of the "what could have beens" or the "what ifs". Those are in the past. I can't go back. I can't change anything from my past, I can only look to my future and change whats in front of me. And listen, this girl does not like change. My dad was one who always wanted us to write down our resolutions and goals for the new year. We did it a lot as a family. So the biggest resolution I have for myself is finding the old me again. I need to dig down deep to that girl's fun side and sense of adventure. I need to cast out all the worry and anxiety that I have let control me. I am still a thirty "something", flirty, and thriving woman! (Did you catch the movie quote??) I love making people laugh, finding new things to do and try, exploring new places. These are the things I need to take back. This is not me going backwards and wishing I were somewhere in the past. This is me claiming my old self to be new again. It's going to be challenging, maybe somewhat painful, but necessary. What are some of your resolutions? Dig deep. Don't settle for simple "I want to lose weight", "I want to be more organized" resolutions. Really find what stirs your heart and listen, then do it! No more boring girl here. I hope this sparks more interesting posts for 2019. Happy New Year friends!

Lazy Merriment

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas! We had a very quiet Christmas as we normally do. Sorry for the blog time-off. I got on a cooking and baking frenzy which was actually very fun but took me away from my computer time. My TV has pretty much stayed on the Hallmark channel all day as I do chores around the house and as I mentioned in a previous blog, it has left me craving sweets. Cookies in particular. I've done pretty well with keeping those cravings at bay but I finally gave in on Christmas Eve. I made gingerbread cookies from scratch which I have never done! It was glorious!! They go really well with Bigelow's Orange Spice tea!! Yummy! So as I was saying our holiday was quiet. My hard-working husband didn't get home on Christmas Eve until around 8 or so. Christmas Eve has become one of UPS's busiest days. It didn't used to be that way but as the economy has grown and online sales have gone up the progression has happened. So Christmas Day is spent basically doing a whole lot of nothing. I really enjoy cooking and haven't had the time to do it in a while so ever since we have moved I have spent more time in the kitchen. So I was actually looking forward to a day of cooking various apps for us to munch on throughout the day. My husband went back and forth from the bed to the couch all day. Neither of us did a work out. I think he did actually take a shower so there's that. In between cooking, I worked on my puzzle. I LOVE puzzles. I am not a person who can sit and watch tv without doing something so puzzles have become my thing. It relaxes me while keeping my brain going. I've heard that's important as we get older. Keep your brain occupied. The hubs read his book in between us watching "It's a Wonderful Life", "White Christmas", and we ended the night with "Return to Me". If you have not seen that movie, it is a must!! It is a tear-jerker, but even my husband can stand this chick-flick. It's great. I laugh because I realize how comfortable my marriage is. We have reached a place in our marriage where both of us can be doing our own projects and be perfectly content. I definitely am more physically needy as I was constantly going over to snuggle or steal a kiss, after all this season I don't get to see him often. But it's nice to know we can be one of those couples who don't have to talk all the time to still feel love in a room. Our family Christmases usually fall before and after the actual day due to the UPS work schedule. We already had done Christmas with my family and we are getting together with his family this weekend. It is a little different now too since we have more travels to do to either side. I do also have a little news to share...I have a job interview today. I won't go into a lot of detail about it now since I don't know if I even have the job so I don't want to share too much. I also still have travel plans for the month of January-mid Feb so I wouldn't be starting anything until then. But I will keep everyone posted. Sorry for not much to blab on about in this post but it's just that kind of lazy holiday time. Hope everyone has had time with family and has gotten plenty of rest. Cheers until New Years!

PJs and Sweets

I had an absolutely glorious day yesterday. It was so nice that I may repeat it again today. I've really been allowing myself time to simply relax, stay in my PJs all day, and just do simple tasks around the house without feeling guilty. After all, I am not working right now so why do I need to get dressed up or even take a shower for that matter?? Well, maybe today I will change up the schedule a little and at least shower. Don't get me wrong, I don't want want to turn into an absolute slob but I have realized that I may not always have days like this so I may as well take advantage. It did take me most of the day to do the laundry for me and my husband. He goes through a lot of clothes in a week, especially when it comes to those brown uniforms. And did I mention how much I HATE to iron?! Oh man, talk about annoying. Growing up my mom always took my dad's shirts and suits to the dry cleaners and now I know why. Ironing is the pits. In addition to doing the laundry, my TV stayed on the Hallmark channel all day. I used to think these Christmas movies were so incredibly cheesy and could not stand watching these actors do kind of a bad job at their roles. But this year I have found these movies to be refreshing. There are so many negative things going on in the world today that sometimes cheesy is nice. I think I've seen just about every Christmas movie they have put on this year. What isn't good for me in watching these movies though is it has made me have a craving for sweets! All these movies tend to have everyone eating delicious Christmas cookies, pies, and cakes. I am normally a total salt girl. Give me a bag of potato chips any day over a piece of pie or cake, but Hallmark is smart. I am convinced this has been worse than watching the Food Network! So now it's time for confession. I didn't work out yesterday which was fine because it was rest day anyway. My husband and I have crossed over into the Crossfit world. More of that in another blog. But just because it is rest day and I can stay in my PJs all day doesn't give me permission to eat all the things. Well yesterday I broke down major and ate not only 1, but 2 lemon tarts. Our Kroger here carries some Ukrop's bakery items and for any of you who grew up with Ukrop's, you know how amazing their bakery items are!! These little tarts are soooo good!!! We used to get the lemon tarts or the chocolate chess ones especially around the holidays. Well these little suckers pack about 310 calories in EACH tart. Oh man...And while on the subject of sweets...I am starting to hate the saying, "Oh it's the holidays, just enjoy it" No! Don't just enjoy it unless you are really excited to work off those extra 10 lbs that most likely is going to take 6 months to come off!! Don't give me a reason to indulge or I'll do it. Just try me. Well 620 calories of lemon tart or not, yesterday was a good day. Now in thinking about it I don't think I will repeat this again today. Nope, today it's back to the treadmill and crossfit world. I do still have quite a bit of weight I am trying to lose so no lemon tart today. But I may just end up back in those PJs after the workout is done. I can't make any promises of that!

Dating Myself

As previously mentioned in my last post I am a UPS wife widow right now. So going out on dates are few and very far in between at the moment. So today I wanted to get out of the house and go out to eat somewhere. I am not opposed to eating out by myself but I have yet to do this since we moved. In Lynchburg I used to do it all the time! I knew most of the restaurants there in town and more often than not knew the people that worked there. So this was going to be a small adventure date of my own. So I decided upon going to Yorktown. Yorktown is only about 20 minutes away from our house and I have been to the downtown historical area with my mom to eat a few times already. So I decided I would dine at a cute restaurant we had been to before. We actually happened to have the same waitress both times we have been so I was able to ask for her section when I arrived as I remembered her name. It's an extrovert thing. I remember names. They were actually pretty busy for a Tuesday at 1:00. As I was asked if I preferred a table or booth, I asked for a booth. Does anyone really prefer a table?? Maybe, but especially being by myself, I wanted something cozy. The restaurant is right on the York River and so the windows across the back of the whole place overlook the water. Inside they are decorated for Christmas in a very tasteful way and also have a gorgeous fireplace going. A real one I might add. Not a gas fireplace. As I sat and had my delicious oysters, wine, and bread I looked around and realized I was the youngest person there. I mean, who else other than this lonely housewife is available to have a leisurely lunch on a Tuesday at 1:00. And with wine no matter! But I also realized I was the only one drinking wine. Everyone else sipped on their hot tea or coffee. Okay, when and why does this happen once you reach a certain age?? I don't think I will ever crave hot tea or coffee with my lunch. Ever. I started laughing to myself because I started thinking what I would be like in my 70s-80s. I hope I will be that lady that continues dressing well, wearing all my accessories, drinking my wine or cocktail in the afternoon, and perhaps even doting my lashes every now and then. Although who knows what kind of cosmetic geniuses will be available by then. There was one particular lady that I kept looking over at who I thought was not dressed like a grandma at all. She was extremely fashionable, had the cutest glasses that I think were actually readers, and her jewelry would've been things that I would consider wearing today. I hope to be like her. As I enjoyed my meal with nothing else on my agenda but to hit the grocery store, I began to feel guilty. Here I am enjoying this amazing meal, having my wine, enjoying gorgeous scenery while my poor husband is working like a dog. Then it was as if God Himself whispered to me, "Just enjoy this". I would've loved to share this moment with someone, my husband in particular but this kind of restaurant is not up his alley. But I've also learned it is important to take time out for myself every now and then. It is a part of taking care of myself. I am able to have full confidence in myself as I sit there alone. I'm pretty sure 10 years ago I would've been crawling out of my skin. I felt thankful. Thankful to have this life where I am eating by such beauty. The water does have a way of calming me. My dad was that way too, so I also feel a little bit of him when I have those moments. As if he were there with me. So if you have never had the chance to go out to eat by yourself, do it! Try it! It's really not all that scary. Take a book, your iPad, or just a pad of paper and pen and jot down any little thing that comes to your mind. Resist getting on you phone and calling someone. Talk to your waiter or waitress. Maybe you can be a bright spot in their day. I've come to know this particular waitress now and will request her table whenever I go. So that was my day, just a little Yorktown delight!

Oh What Fun!

I don't consider myself to be much of a writer, but regardless I have felt the pang to start (well really re-start) a blog. I have attempted to keep a blog many times and funny enough it has normally been around this time of year that I get the bug. Life has seemed to always get in the way and take me away from daily writing but I am hopeful that this time it will stick. You may notice my blog name "Seasons of a Woman". Well, I find myself in a new season once again. I wonder how many times in a woman's life that happens? Every year? Every 5 years? Daily?? I don't know but I don't think I've found myself in too many thus far. Although I am only 35...hmm...oh well! You see, my husband and I just moved which PS I HATE moving! Does anybody out there actually enjoy it?! I seriously don't know how people do it! I have a friend who literally moved about 5 times within maybe 3 years. I can now say how crazy I think she is!! I realize there are situations where moving is not a choice, but man! It's exhausting! Okay, off the soap box about moving...but it has really shaken me. I only have had to move 1 other time in my life. Twice if you want to count college, but I don't. The other move was from my apartment in college to a townhouse which may have been 8 miles from each other. I lived in said townhouse for 12 years. I still can't believe it was that long. So needless to say I had a few more items that were accumulated in those 12 years, not to mention an added husband within those 12 years and all his junk....I mean, stuff. My husband works for UPS. Yes, yes so I am a UPS wife widow these days. November-late January are not the best for marriage quality time. He works about 12-14 hour days Monday-Saturday. I have to say I am thankful for his job though. The company does have great benefits, great health insurance, and the pay is nice. So his job moved us from Lynchburg, VA to Gloucester, VA. Let me tell you, it has been QUITE the transition. From Bible belt to the Blue collar. Granted I was familiar with the area since my family had a "Rivah" house in Mathews for most of my life. Gloucester is where you came when you wanted to come to Wal-Mart. Big city livin'. And nothing has changed much about this town. Wal-Mart is still pretty much the biggest shopping we have around here. They did just recently get a TJMaxx, Rack Room Shoes, and Ulta and you would've thought everyone here had died and gone to heaven. Lawd child! Is this the kind of excitement I need to start getting used to? Where is my Target? Kohls? Anybody? Bueller...? But this blog is all about perspective. And I've definitely had to put myself in check many times since we moved. It is all still fresh because we haven't even been here 3 months yet. I must say, I absolutely LOVE our house. I still wonder sometimes if we got a little too much house. I know next to some people they would give anything for any size house so please hear me say how thankful I am. I know how very blessed we are for sure. I've teared up more times than I can count when I take a look around. This house did need quite a bit of work but I am told that this also comes with being a new homeowner. There is always something. The biggest battle I have had throughout this process has been finding my purpose here and also meeting people. I had an absolutely wonderful job with a team of people that I was terribly upset to leave. In fact, it wasn't until I was working my last few weeks that I finally realized I was meant for that kind of work. I am a people person and I am very good at organization. So that was hard to have that "ah-ha moment" and then have to leave that job. C'est la vie! I also had my first experience of leaving friends. I didn't have a huge circle in Lynchburg but I definitely had a handful. Remember I haven't had to move to a different town altogether since college and in college you are immediately put into an entire dorm full of potential friends. But now, as a 35 year old woman, I am starting all over. My husband is one of the biggest introverts known to man so I can't rely on him to meet new guys at work that I might meet the wife or girlfriend. We haven't started church searching either though. We have had a couple burns from churches in the past too so this is going to be hard for me to get back into. But I do know as a believer that God wants us to not only have fellowship with other believers but also find ways where we can serve others. Gloucester is such a small town where everyone knows everyone and everyone also knows everybody's business. Don't get me wrong I am an open book but that first initial meeting of people who know you are new and try to get all up on your business from the get-go pretty much scares the bah-jesus out of me. So I have this blog. I was sitting on my couch reading an issue of "Guide Post" that my mom subscribes us to every year but ashamedly, I hardly read. So today I decided instead of making it a coffee table accessory, I would read them. One of the articles spoke to me. It was a girl talking about how during a time of questioning and loneliness she decided to start a blog. This blog served as a way for her to find ways every day to be thankful so then she would have something to write about. A blessings journal if you will. So I poured myself a cup of tea, lighted some candles, put some instrumental music on, and moved my laptop to our dining room table next to our windows overlooking our street. I decided to see what inspiration hit me and so here we are. I have no idea if anyone will read this so this may just serve as my own blessings journal. Maybe it will help me find my next purpose...my own ramblings. So here's to this new season in my life. Oh what fun!