New Year, Old Me

Last night before going to sleep and then again this morning as I was having my coffee I had a revelation. Last night it started as I was reminiscing on memories from high school and college. I started thinking about the person I was back then and how much I have changed. My personality has remained but my spice for life has sort of dissipated. I hope I'm not alone in how this happens to women, or anyone in general. I realized how I've become accustomed to doing the same routine of life everyday, day in and day out. And funny enough, becoming this routine person has made me boring. Older than I really am. And I know I'm not in high school anymore or in my 20's anymore, but this revelation got me thinking. What has happened to me?! I've become this woman who listens more to her anxiety and worries than to what adventures lie ahead. I've become afraid of trying new things and going new places. I've become a home-body. The little bit of introvert that is in me (which literally is VERY small) has taken over. I've become okay with staying home quite a lot and have lost interest in learning. So I asked myself this morning, "What has happened to you?!" Now, is there something to be said for getting older and becoming okay with not going out all the time. Is there something to be said for knowing I am simply at an age where household things can take precedence over the fun stuff? Absolutely. There is nothing wrong with being home, with taking care of what needs to be done, adulting. BUT there is something wrong if that is all my life has become. So it is fitting that this is New Years Eve. I can make a resolution to change and it starts with a new year. I do have to caution myself against thinking of the "what could have beens" or the "what ifs". Those are in the past. I can't go back. I can't change anything from my past, I can only look to my future and change whats in front of me. And listen, this girl does not like change. My dad was one who always wanted us to write down our resolutions and goals for the new year. We did it a lot as a family. So the biggest resolution I have for myself is finding the old me again. I need to dig down deep to that girl's fun side and sense of adventure. I need to cast out all the worry and anxiety that I have let control me. I am still a thirty "something", flirty, and thriving woman! (Did you catch the movie quote??) I love making people laugh, finding new things to do and try, exploring new places. These are the things I need to take back. This is not me going backwards and wishing I were somewhere in the past. This is me claiming my old self to be new again. It's going to be challenging, maybe somewhat painful, but necessary. What are some of your resolutions? Dig deep. Don't settle for simple "I want to lose weight", "I want to be more organized" resolutions. Really find what stirs your heart and listen, then do it! No more boring girl here. I hope this sparks more interesting posts for 2019. Happy New Year friends!